I've been Pin-spired!!!

Ladies and gentlemen:

My name is Lesley, and I'm an addict. 

Yes, I'll stand up here in front of the the entire internet population and say it.

I'm addicted to Pinterest.

*At this point in time, all the women are nodding their heads in agreement saying "I know what you mean!!!" and all the men are sitting there with confused looks on their faces, making that noise that Tim the Tool-man made on the show Home Improvement going "Euggh?"

For those of you who don't know, Pinterest is the absolute greatest thing since sliced bread an internet "pinboard" where (mainly women) post pictures of interesting, pretty things, recipe and DIY ideas, decorating tips, and other estrogen fueled subject matter.  What that leaves is a giant internet database of all kinds of wonderful ideas and goodies to browse through, all in one place, using as little effort as possible from me.  That is just how I like it, you see.

It really is a neat site in my opinion, and it has inspired me to do quite a bit over the past couple months.  I have started trying to dress better when I go places.  Instead of sweats and a t-shirt, I'll wear a sweater and jeans, or take a couple seconds to make myself presentable.  Now mind you, I still have to be comfortable, and I literally mean I only take a few seconds to do that, because any more time would be a waste in my opinion.  (On a random side note, I cannot force myself to wear skinny jeans, no matter how cute or how in style they are.  I own one pair, and everytime I get dressed to go somewhere and want to look nice, I plan to wear them.  So I lay them out with my brown boots, and the second I put them on I feel like I have just zipped my bottom half inside a ridiculously uncomfortable latex wetsuit 3 sizes too small.  So, I  immediately take them off, go back to my old faithful comfortable jeans, and go about my business.  Anyways, I digress...)  And it's not like dressing better is a great accomplishment either, but I like to look like a girl occasionally.

I have also started to decorate my house using inexpensive ideas I saw on the site.  Here are a few pictures of what I have done so far.

Retro desk I got at the Peddler's Mall, it had been painted and I've since roughed it up a little.

I'm kind of proud of my decorating if you can't tell.  Almost everything has been picked up at flea markets or dollar stores, and then repainted or repurposed.  Or I've made it myself!

Which leads me to one of the downsides of Pinterest.  It makes me want to make EVERYTHING.  I imagine myself being the MacGyver of the crafting world and make all of these beautiful things out of nothing at all.  In case you need a little clarification about what I mean by that, here you go...

So, crafting things is all fine and dandy, except crafting takes A LOT of time and effort, and my crafts NEVER look like what I invisioned them turning out like.  So I guess my lesson here is, don't quit my dayjob and take up crafting full time.  I am way too unorganized and have way too little willpower for that!

Another downside of Pinterest is that it makes me want all this awesome, expensive, unnecessary stuff I know I really don't need.  I don't need a bunch of nice dressy clothes!  Because I'd still probably wear my jeans and t-shirts and Old Navy fleece pullovers.  And all that pretty jewelry I've pinned since I've become a member?  I NEVER wear jewelry (though maybe that's because I don't own any? Hint Hint...)  And I don't need to completely redecorate and repaint our bedroom.  It is ok the way it is, even though that grey chevron patterned comforter I saw on Pinterest would look awesome in there... If I painted.  And added chair rail.  And made some really cool pillows to accent it.  See what I mean?

So maybe the site isn't as great as I first thought that it was.  I guess, as with anything else, if it is done in moderation it is ok, as long as you can control the urge to need to have everything you see on there.  And I think we as humans spend a lot of time feeling like we need things.  We covet, covet, covet.  We want what the Jone's have (and no sister I'm not referring to you lol) because their's is better than ours.  The grass is always greener, etc etc.

So take a little time today and appreciate what you do have.  I've realized I have a lot.  I've got a good job, a healthy happy son, a soldier that loves me even when we're worlds apart, a home that I am proud of.  And I can't take any of these things with me when I leave this world, so I will enjoy them while I have them!

   

Bah-Humbug

Well, here it is, two days before Christmas, and guess what?  Jar's not home, even though our president stood in front of America and said "ALL" of our troops in Iraq would be home in time for Christmas.  As much as I try not to, I am a little embittered about this.  Apparently, the benefit of the president saying that statement in a speech means that you couldn't see the little asterisk at the end of the word ALL*. 

*Except for certain Aviation Support Battilions and other units which we deem it necessary to keep in Kuwait "just in case."

Don't get me wrong, I really didn't think they would be sent home in time for Christmas.  After all, they have only been deployed since August, and had only partially been in Iraq for a month or so.  But I did let myself get my hopes up that since the mission in Iraq was closing, they would get to come home early.  And apparently that's not the case either, their mission will at least last through the summer.

I apologize for this rant, it just seems that once again I am at the bottom of one of the deployment roller coaster hills.  The fact that it's Christmas plus the numerous happy reunion videos being shown all over by various media outlets plus the fact he has crappy internet and nothing to do right now in Kuwait just multiplies my grumpiness.  And this bottom is different from all the past ones, because this is the first time all I feel is just an achy sadness, no anger or worry or anything else.  It is just depressing, I just feel like wallowing in my own grey puddle of blahness or throwing a temper tantrum crying "it's not fair."

The good thing is, I now know that this too shall pass.  I am really genuinely happy for my friends whose husbands have come home (even if their reunions make me a little jealous), I mean they have all been gone much longer than Jar.  Once the homecomings aren't such big news, and the Christmas trees come down, and Jar's unit begins doing whatever they will be doing in Kuwait, life will go back to normal AGAIN.

And before too long, Jar will get his mid-tour leave and I will get to SEE him and HUG him, and I absolutely cannot wait.  I can't remember if I have mentioned this or not, but he is keeping his leave date secret from me and is going to surprise me when he comes home.  I have no idea when he is coming (though I've guessed about 15 different times) or what he has planned.  Other than being really excited, my only worry is that I won't want to let him go when the time comes, though I know I really don't have a choice!     

Now see, in the time it took me to write this down, I already feel better.  This blog has been so helpful when I need to vent, even though I think the blog title should have been something about "Listening to Me B&M for the Entire Duration of Jar's Deployment!" :) But if that's the case, you only have 280 or less days to listen to my rants!

To Danville from Danville and Back Again

This past week I traveled for work, again.  I like the traveling, it breaks things up and adds a little variety to things.  This past trip took me from my home in Danville, KY to Danville, IL.  Ironic, don't ya think?

Anyways, like on all my other trips, Avajar came with me.  I had to tone down his Christmas decorations to make him more mobile, which reminds me, I need to post pics of his Christmas decorations anyways!  He looks quite fantastic with them all on.

 So we hit the road in the rain and headed to Illinois.  It was POURING rain, and it continued to do so the entire way there. 

We finally made it into IL, which made me realized that AJ is one well traveled tree.  So far he has traveled from NY to KY when we purchased him, then to TN, then through IN to IL.  He really gets around!

When we got into town, we decided to do a quick drive around.  Well, I decided should I say, AJ keeps his opinions to himself.  I don't know what I was expecting, but I can tell you that Danville, IL was not what I had in mind.  When I picture a town hit hard by a recession, that town is that exactly.  It was so run down, delapidated and gray, and just plain sad looking. 

It made me really happy to live in Danville, KY, where we have a thriving little downtown that is pretty well taken care of, not run into the ground like this place.  It also made me realize that I live in a little happy bubble sometimes where I tend to forget that everything isn't all rainbows and sunshine.  Even though we humans are passionate, empathetic beings (well, some of us), it is still so much easier not to face things sometimes. 

And this town isn't even the worst of it, most people still had homes, and junk food, and electricity, and water, and cable tv.  What about the people throughout the world that don't have that?  My little brain can hardly wrap it's neural pathways around that one. 

So be thankful this Christmas season, for what you have and where you live.  Remember, you are where you are for a reason, good times and bad times included, for if you never had the bad times, how would you ever really appreciate the good?   



Ewwww!!!!

What do you do when you find a black widow spider on one of your flower pots in your yard? 

Kill it would probably be the logical answer.  But no, I sat Avajar on top of the pot and took pictures, because if Jar was here, he would be the one left with killing it!

Then I killed it!

  

The Three Little Big Jars

I had written this post a week or so ago and never got around to posting it... SO here it is!

So, two year olds never cease to amaze me. 

George’s new thing is listening to and telling stories, which has just come about overnight.  Apparently, the teachers read fairytales to them at daycare (which is one of the few goods things they do at daycare), and George has been eating it up. 

Well, we were at Lowe’s last night looking at Christmas trees, and passed a row of rocking chairs sitting right across from the tree display, when he stops, tells me I am to “sit in dat chair right there, momma!” and wait for him. 

“OK,” I thought, “this might be interesting and entertaining, or at least make me look like the crazy woman who lets her toddler run wild around the home improvement store?” 

I figured I’d done worse, so I’d just go with it.

George proceeds to run and hide behind a tree, just to turn around and walk right back out to the chair.  And by walk, I mean sprint as fast as his two year old legs would carry him, almost knocking over a nice elderly couple tree shopping nearby.

“I da BIG BAD WOLF Momma, I gonna huff and blow your house down!” he yelled mid-run.  He almost launches himself into my lap but stops short, bends over, and blows as hard as he could on the armrest of the rocker.  Then takes off giggling like only a two year old can and sprints back behind the display tree. 

Since I thought it was hilarious and pretty harmless encourage creative and inventive play, I let him pretend he was the big bad wolf and run around in that corner of the store for at least ten minutes.  I figured since we weren’t destroying anything, and since Jar is a former employee of that very store, that we were ok doing an impromptu 3 Little Pigs reenactment…

Once we got home, I asked George if he wanted me to tell him stories, to which he gave a very enthusiastic YES!  So, I did my best pig and wolf impressions, and we acted out the Three Little Pigs.  When I asked him what he wanted to do next, he said “DA TREE LITTLE BEARS!!!”

So, I fumbled my way through that one (and realized I really needed to brush up on my fairytales, I’m pretty sure I added some details that weren’t in the original story, but I got the basics of it).

When I asked Levi what story he wanted to hear next, his response got me a little choked up.

“Tell me about the Tree Little Big Jar’s, Mommy!  Da one’s in Iwack!”

*Sigh*

Since before Jar left, we’ve been telling George he’s going to Iraq with lots of camels, sand and haji.  So, I told him a happy story about 3 Big Little Jar’s that played with camels, sand and haji.  I’m glad he’s too young to understand everything now, but I’m happy he remembers Jar.  We talk about Jar a lot, and George will always bring him up at the strangest times, but it always makes me smile!

Also, for your reading pleasure, I think I’m going to start writing children’s books.  Here is the cover art for the first one!  ; )

Give Thanks

Today is a day of Thanksgiving.

Today, I am thankful for a perfect love in an imperfect world. 

When I sit and think about all the other things I am thankful for, they all stem from this one thing.  Like branches off of a tree trunk, stemming out unto leaves and thorns, into the blessings and trials of life.  The beautiful thing about the tree of thanks is that it is ever changing and growing, shedding its leaves in the fall, raking them up, tossing them away, and beginning anew in the spring.

It is nice to lay underneath that tree of thanksgiving; to look up at the sky and see just how blessed I really am.  To be reminded of how much I've taken for granted.  To be reminded of how far I've come and how far is yet to go.

So I hope today that you will take a second to stop and look to the sky, and be thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving!

  

 

So what else is new?

Well, there's not a lot new going on here.  I just figured since I had the night to myself, I would take a little time and blog about things.  I've been pretty good here lately, and Jar seems so too.  We have a routine now.  It works.  We're happy, we talk a lot, we miss each other and blah blah blah, but things are good. 

I still have my "panic" moments, though.  For example, Jar informed me one day that he would be going on a mission soon, and I about had a nervous breakdown trying to make sure we got to Skype before he left.  Once we were finally able to Skype, all I could say was "well, why are YOU going on this mission, why couldn't they send someone else?"  And as soon as we hung up I felt like the world's biggest turd.  The good news?  I don't think I cried.  But I would have much rather cried than felt like the douche that I did after that conversation!

And, I still do cry, about anything it seems.  I cry when I see Hallmark commercials.  When I see anything related to any type of soldier homecoming.  I was actually visiting with a new friend over the weekend, whose husband is also deployed, and embarassed myself with a sporadic weeping moment.  She had just found out that her husband might be losing internet service and that day might be the last time they'd get to Skype.  Once they had finished talking, she was completely ok, and I was sitting there about to boohoo imagining how I'd feel if I found out the same news about Jar. 

I have said more than once to Jar that I think this deployment is making me bipolar.  Or possibly I was bipolar the entire time but was just able to hide it better!  In reality, I'm dealing with things that I have been postponing for a long time.  It's not always pretty, and that's ok.  And things are starting to stabilize, the roller coaster ride I've been on has downgraded from being on "The Beast" to the Tilt-a-Whirl. 

In my infinite dork-ness, I was thinking one day about the ups and downs of a deployment, and I think I've come up with a good visual representation of my mood so far.  So have any of you heard of a damped oscillator?  Well, if you haven't, don't worry, you're completely normal, and I'm getting ready to tell ya about them. 

Imagine a pendulum on a grandfather clock. Well, a broken grandfather clock that isn't currently ticking.  Imagine if you grabbed the bottom of the pendulum, pulled it as far as it would go to one side, and let it swing.  When you first let it go, it's going to swing to the other side almost as high as you had pulled it back in the first place, but as time goes on and it swings back and forth a few times, it will swing up less and less, until it finally stops.

Somewhere in history, one of my fellow dorks determined that you could graph exactly how far that pendulum would swing each time, and exactly how long it would take it to stop (that is, if you theoretically knew all the external forces being applied to the pendulum i.e. gravity, drag from the air, and you knew the starting height of the pendulum before you let it go).  This graph also describes my mood over the last few months. 



If you didn't quite grasp this impromptu physics lesson, then don't fret.  All I was trying to say is that, as time goes on (in the case of this graph, towards the little t), my mood swings have dropped off (the red line going back and forth).  The unfortunate thing is, even though I "know" all of the external forces being applied to me, I have no idea how I will react to them.  I'm working to try and understand that, and like I've mentioned before, give up my need to feel I am in control.  As I work towards that, I can handle a few crazy tears here and there! :)